The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...
It would be an understatement to say that this morning didn't go as planned. I had a family emergency of sorts last night that redirected my evening plans and kept me up a bit later than I had anticipated. Needless to say, this morning I managed to sleep through two (yes, not one, but two!) alarms for the astonishing time of just over two hours. You heard me right. I'm still at a loss as to how that happened, but apparently with age not only comes grey hairs and wisdom, but the loss of my claim to being a "light sleeper."
When I casually awoke at 7:30 to discover that I snoozed well beyond my appointed wake up time, the first thoughts that crossed my mind can be left to the imagination of anyone who has ever over slept. I normally would have felt very defeated, knowing I committed to a 90 Day Challenge and promised myself that this time wouldn't be like the others; that I wouldn't let life get in the way and side track me. I took a deep breath and said "Selena, it's OK -- the day is not over, it has only just begun. Be flexible and kind with yourself, just as you would others. We now have a date for an evening run at the park instead and can watch the sunset this time. It's that simple." And with that I willingly shook it off and carried on.
In that moment I knew I had it; that a shift had finally begun to occur in me that made progress tangible for the first time that I can ever recall. The permission I gave myself was a gift I have never given me - ever - in this realm before. I was either succeeding or failing, with no grey area in between. Off or on. All or nothing. In that space in between there is such a thing as progress; sometimes it's at a snails pace, other times, lightening fast. I am learning to have patience with the eb and flow of progress and it's extraordinarily dynamic quality that can admitedly leave me feeling very uneasy.
I was empowered this evening by the "date" I made and the permission I bestowed upon myself to not be perfect. I only asked myself to be grateful for the opportunity to try; to try my best and to embrace this gift of life in all of it's beautiful imperfections. This life is a gift, my body is a gift and I will respect them as such and treat them with care.
Warmth & light,
Selena
No comments:
Post a Comment