90 Day Challenge: Day 4-7

I listened to my body and took Thursday off from exercise. I had hit it pretty hard out of the gate on Monday with the start of my 90 Day Challenge. Friday I picked up another bike ride and Saturday I had a lovely 2.25 mile jog at the park.

At the end of my run yesterday when I was near guilting myself for not having done more on my day off, I reminded myself that a week earlier I was doing absolutely nothing. And here I was, ending a 2.25 mile jog - though feeling as if I was in slow motion - I had done it. I was becomming familiar with my body and what I was able to do. How far and how hard I was capable of going. In that moment, I let guilt go and felt an overwhelming since of pride in myself for what I was doing.

My old mentality offered no break, no forgiveness for anything short of perfection. As perfection is far from realistic, these strict operating guidelines I imposed upon myself always yielded failure. Once I realized I had fallen short of my set goal, I would throw in the towel and spend my time lamenting instead of recalibrating and striking again the next day. My old mentality was one of throwing the baby out with the bath water, so to speak, due to my lack of recognition for the good I had done. My focus was always on where I had fallen short, not the effort I had made.

Tomorrow is brand new and I owe it to myself to not ever give up for any perceived slip up. I am making progress, and that is what counts, not some arbitrary sense of perfection that is ultimately unattainable.

 

To find out more about more about the 90 Day Challenge, follow the link, or send me an email.

Warmth & light, 

Selena

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90 Day Challenge: Day 3

The End of Fear and Loathing...

 

And so it has been that for several years - maybe as long as I can remember, actually - I have loathed my body. That was today's revelation/moment of honesty. Particularly in a "why me?" sort of fashion. I've always felt relatively athletic; more than capable of holding my own in any physical activity or endeavor I was challenged with. And yet, my body never resembled that of an athlete, which always left me feeling insufficient and misrepresented.

I remember the very first yoga class that I went to a little over 10 yrs ago. I had been training with a friend who was certified, street running 4 miles in the morning, 4 at night, and alternating upper and lower body strength training 6 days a week at the gym. I had platued, even while leg pressing nearly 600 lbs for 3 sets of 15 (yes, you read that correctly). I was no longer getting sore, or breaking a sweat. I was a freaking Spartan. She suggested that we try a yoga class to mix up the program I had adhered to for 9 months straight. I was excited to try yoga. I had been curious about it for a long time, but feared they would take one look at me and ask me to dismiss myself from class for not having a yoga-like body. Yes, that fear was contrived, but it was also very real to me. I know what other people see when they look at me, and their first thought is probably not athletic.

Today I made peace with my body, and thanked it for being awesome. My body is so intelligent and responsive that I could survive any famine, nuclear event or zombie apocalypse that might come my way. My body adapts quickly, and therefore doesn't always respond to changes I make in the desired fashion, in the desired amount of time (e.g., I only lost 15 lbs during that 9 months of intense training, but I was "strong like ox" and felt fitter than ever).

So, with that in mind, I'm giving myself the green light to change things up when necessary (something I've, oddly enough, never allowed myself to do before). I ran yesterday, I rowed this morning and I biked this evening. I don't have to be the best at any of those things and I don't have to do them all every day (yes, I struggle with that), I just have to do them and keep changing what I'm doing to keep my body from adapting so quickly to a new routine. I'm not giving less than 100% if I choose to do Ashtanga yoga tomorrow instead of running. I'm accepting a new challenge, stimulating my body and my mind in a new way, which is healthy and necessary for growth.

This 90 Day Challenge is about more than getting fit, or losing weight to me; It's about acknowledging and respecting myself and not longing to be something I'm not. I just need to be the best me that I can be. That is all that is required of me. The rest will fall into line eventually. Yup, I just rhymed unintentionally.

To find out more about the 90 Day Challenge, you can email me or visit my site here: http://selenaburke.myvi.net/

 

Warmth & light,

Selena

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This is how I make my "Reese's Cup" protein shakes for the day (2 servings)

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Traded my run for 30 minutes of rowing this morning. #90DayChallenge #LegsOnFire

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Traded my run for 30 minutes of rowing this morning. #90DayChallenge #LegsOnFire

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90 Day Challenge: Day 2

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

 

It would be an understatement to say that this morning didn't go as planned. I had a family emergency of sorts last night that redirected my evening plans and kept me up a bit later than I had anticipated. Needless to say, this morning I managed to sleep through two (yes, not one, but two!) alarms for the astonishing time of just over two hours. You heard me right. I'm still at a loss as to how that happened, but apparently with age not only comes grey hairs and wisdom, but the loss of my claim to being a "light sleeper."

When I casually awoke at 7:30 to discover that I snoozed well beyond my appointed wake up time, the first thoughts that crossed my mind can be left to the imagination of anyone who has ever over slept. I normally would have felt very defeated, knowing I committed to a 90 Day Challenge and promised myself that this time wouldn't be like the others; that I wouldn't let life get in the way and side track me. I took a deep breath and said "Selena, it's OK -- the day is not over, it has only just begun. Be flexible and kind with yourself, just as you would others. We now have a date for an evening run at the park instead and can watch the sunset this time. It's that simple." And with that I willingly shook it off and carried on.

In that moment I knew I had it; that a shift had finally begun to occur in me that made progress tangible for the first time that I can ever recall. The permission I gave myself was a gift I have never given me - ever - in this realm before. I was either succeeding or failing, with no grey area in between. Off or on. All or nothing. In that space in between there is such a thing as progress; sometimes it's at a snails pace, other times, lightening fast. I am learning to have patience with the eb and flow of progress and it's extraordinarily dynamic quality that can admitedly leave me feeling very uneasy. 

I was empowered this evening by the "date" I made and the permission I bestowed upon myself to not be perfect. I only asked myself to be grateful for the opportunity to try; to try my best and to embrace this gift of life in all of it's beautiful imperfections. This life is a gift, my body is a gift and I will respect them as such and treat them with care.

To find out more about the 90 Day Challenge and what's inspiring me, email me or visit my page here: http://selenaburke.myvi.net/

 

Warmth & light,

Selena

 

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Getting ready to take my new kicks for another spin. #90 Day Challenge

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