Selena Faulkner: January 2010

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Lyrics that hit home: Beyonce - If I Were A Boy

Ever listen to a song that becomes more clear to you with meaning and resonates in your heart after something major happens in your life? Yup, that would be my experience with this song. object width="500" height="417">

via youtube.com

If I were a boy even just for a day I'd roll out of bed in the morning And throw on what I wanted And go drink beer with the guys And chase after girls I'd kick it with who I wanted And I'd never get confronted for it 'Cause they stick up for me If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man I'd listen to her 'Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted And everything you had got destroyed If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it's broken So they'd think that I was sleeping alone I'd put myself first And make the rules as I go 'Cause I know that she'd be faithful Waiting for me to come home, to come home If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man I'd listen to her 'Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taking you for granted And everything you had got destroyed It's a little too late for you to come back Say it's just a mistake Think I'd forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you You thought wrong But you're just a boy You don't understand And you don't understand, oh How it feels to love a girl Someday you wish you were a better man You don't listen to her You don't care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted 'Cause you're taking her for granted And everything you had got destroyed But you're just a boy

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Your Soul's Evolution: Practices for Catalyzing Your Spiritual Awakening by Michael Bernard Beckwith

This audio book absolutely resonated with every fiber of my being. Your heart knows when you are hearing the truth, because you have always known it to be but may have been lacking the organization of all of these "knowings" into language. So many things Michael discusses towards the end of the book, I myself have experienced (from the time that I was a tiny child) and was pleasantly surprised to find that I'm not alone in those intense experiences. I'm teeming with anticipation in respect to the path that this new movement towards enlightenment will take humanity as a whole. Open your heart to this book and the truth will set you free.

via amazon.com

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On my to read list: Meditations of the Heart by Howard Thurman

http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Heart-Howard-Thurman/dp/0807010235/ref=pd_sim_b_1

via amazon.com

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I Want to be More Loving in My Heart by Howard Thurman

I heard this excerpt from one of Howard Thurman's books today while listening to Your Soul's Evolution by Michael Bernard Beckwith. The timing of the universe is always perfect, as I had just been sharing with someone how difficult it has been to stay centered and in the presence of love, refusing retaliation and childish games while going through this separation from my husband. These words could not have connected with my heart more if I had written them myself.

I want to be more loving in my heart. I want to be more loving. Often there are good and sufficient reasons for exercising what seems a clear direct resentment. Again and again I find it hard to hold in check the sharp retort, the biting comeback, even when it seems that someone has done violence to my self respect and decent regard. How natural it seems to give as good as I get. To take nothing lying down, to announce to all a sundry and a thousand ways that no one can run over me and get away with it. All this is a part of the thicket in which my heart gets caught again and again. But deep within me I want to be more loving. To glow with a warmth that will take the chill off of the room, which I share with those whose lives touch mine in the traffic of my goings and comings. I want to be more loving. I want to be more loving in my heart. It is often easy to have the idea in mind, the plan to be more loving; to see it with my mind and give consent to the thought of being loving. This is crystal clear. But I want to be more loving in my heart. I must feel like loving. I must ease the tension in my heart that ejects the sharp barb, the stinging word. I want to be more loving with unconscious awareness and deliberate intent: Unconscious awareness and deliberate intent. I shall be a kind, a gracious human being. Thus those who walk the way with me may find it easier to love. To be gracious because of the love of God which is increasingly expressed in my living. I want to be more loving in my heart.

~Howard Thurman

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Joy is the Best Face Lift

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Over the past couple of weeks, people have been asking me if I changed my hair, was trying new makeup, or a new wellness routine. I giggle inside as people look me up and down, wide eyed, trying to pin point what is different about me. Words like “glowing”, “vibrant”, “happy”and “healthy” have been used with frequency to describe the mysterious change others are witnessing. On more than one occasion I have been stopped by complete strangers who felt the unction to compliment me.

Joy. That’s all that has changed. I am filled with a joy that is more intense than any stormy weather life could bring my way. My change, my transcendence to this new place of light and love was born out of an experience that pushed me to the brink. My mind was overrun with the details of what I was going through and reached it’s capacity quite suddenly, and then froze. It was in that moment that a fracture occurred between my mind and my life force and I was immediately moved into a place of clarity like I have never experienced before. A knowing came upon me, a moment of clarity that revealed that it was alone my decision to either suffer the mental torment of a situation that I had no reasonable control over without sacrificing myself, or to acknowledge and release those experiences in to the universe so that I could move into a place of peace and love. I chose to follow the light, realizing that my mind/ego would only keep me trapped in a cycle that would ultimately lead to my spiritual death.

There is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is brought about by external factors and is ultimately fleeting. As soon as your situation moves in an undesirable direction, the happiness you experienced is gone and your pain and discomfort is once again palpable. Joy, on the other hand, comes from within and can only be realized through an acceptance that you are not your mind, that your mind is only a tool to be used by the essence of who you are. An understanding that every moment is just as it should be (no matter the labels that the mind undoubtedly tries to apply), and that we are all one…we are not separate from one another as our minds would have us believe. There is no you against me, there is only an us. We are one divine and eternal life force connected to the heavens and the earth. We are in this together, but until humanity learns to control the mind that labels and separates, we will continue on a path of wars, upheaval, and persecution that sustains a tearing apart. My brother posed a question to me last week when I was discussing with him the beauty of this new place I am in: “Selena, having the joy that you have now and knowing the presence of love from all that is and will ever be, would it matter if you were kidnapped and tortured to your death? Would it change what your spirit knows, and the oneness that you feel?” I answered, “No, because I am one with this universe, with those who kidnap and torture me and every moment is just as it should be in this dance of life eternal. I know love and joy and peace and those can never be involuntarily taken from me.”

I have been reborn.

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Monday, January 25, 2010

Guardians of Being - A celebration of our beloved furry friends, and life

Anyone who knows me understands that I have an exuberant affinity for *all* animals. Big little, hairy or naked, I love all animals with the deepest part of my being. I've been been rabidly consuming books about spiritual enlightenment over the last few weeks, so it was only natural that due to his awareness of the aforementioned, my brother recommend I take a look at Guardians of Being. I picked it up on Saturday from Borders and decided that I would make space to read the book with intention, with purpose. I arrived home, let my brood of animals out into the back yard to play in the beautiful weather and planted myself firmly on a porch chair facing the brilliant sun. I slowly turned through the pages, opening my heart to receive the messages of wisdom that were within. I read, and absorbed in stillness the sounds of birds, the rustling wind against the trees, and my barking dogs that filled the background. I watched my cats chase insects and play tag to and fro in the yard, ever enthused and fully engaged in each action. I took a pause intermittently between reading to just *be* with my animals - in the moment - and soak up the joy that was flowing from the vibration of life itself. Animals are such great teachers of presence, unconditional love and fervor for life. In the time I spent outside, I gave myself completely to listening, to acknowledging that "there is something greater: a sacredness that cannot be understood through thought." I was one with all that is. It was a blissful day...a day perfect with awareness that just *being* is all that is required to create a life abundant with joy.

via amazon.com

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Monday, January 18, 2010

Yoga of the Heart - Opening poem

This evening, my first Yoga of the Heart class at Eastside Yoga opened with a beautiful poem that felt so appropriate for what I'm experiencing in my life right now:

Your grief for what you've lost lifts a mirror
Up to where you're bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look and instead,
Here's the joyful face you've been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open,
You would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting
And expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and
coordinated as birdwings.

~Rumi

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Foretelling...

In a reply to a friend about the devastating loss in Haiti, I felt the following come to me and was inspired to share with all due to its nature.

This [tragedy in Haiti] is only the first of many devastating events we'll see this year. There will be a spiritual shift in the masses, a transcending, a move toward awakening that will radiate a light of peace and common good in the darkness that will cover this year in the form of many unprecedented, transcontinental tragedies & loss. There will be many who do not come into the light, and they will suffer more than any of the 10 generations before them.

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